My little rock star!

My rock star!  That's what the lactation consultant called you today!  Mommy was given the okay to try some non-nutritive breast-feeding!  So I went in today and tried to pump and pump every last drop of milk out.  Then they took out your OG tube and put in an NG tube so you could be more successful at sucking.  Then the Chris's helped me get you out and set up.  Chris the nurse thought it wouldn't be too different from breast-feeding my other kids.  Chris the lactation consultant said, "Oh, no - you've never breastfed a preemie before.  It will be a totally different experience."  So who was right?!?!?!?!  Our nurse (and me)!

Here's why...You LOVE sucking on your pacifier and when it falls out of your mouth you usually try to get a finger or thumb to suck on if no one is around to stick the paci back in your mouth.  So with your love of sucking and Mommy's 2 3/4 years of breastfeeding experience, I was pretty confident on my end that we could be successful...and you did great!!!

You latched on right away and after about three sucks the lactation consultant yelled, "Stop, Stop, get him off!"  I was a little startled, but did what she said.  The "problem" she explained was that you were swallowing the milk (which you aren't supposed to do since it makes your belly blow up with air)  So we tried again...and again you latched on and started swallowing, so she stopped me a second time.  I was a little disappointed thinking that this was going to be the end after only about 2 minutes, but then she told me to continue feeding for as long as you were able to and we'd just suck the residual back out of your NG tube.  So you suckled and your sats and heart rate stayed normal.  You were happy and swallowing milk, just like any other newborn.  You took normal pauses and would start right back up.  This went on for 10-15 minutes.  The lactation consultant was totally amazed at how well you did...how you latched on, how your stats were great, and how you didn't tire out.  She said over and over that you were a rock star!  She said she could count on one hand the amount of preemies that have done so well at their first attempt at non-nutritive feeding!  She was especially impressed with you because you have been so sick and been through so much and yet you have the suck, swallow, breathe thing down!!!  That is HUGE! 

It makes me so grateful to have this opportunity to try to feed you.  Just this morning I was crying, not wanting to pump another ounce out of my body.  It has become harder and harder especially since I've been on antibiotics.  Hopefully I will get to really nurse you soon.  I pray that you are able to tolerate my milk without changing my diet.  The lactation consultant and I did talk about trying to take dairy out so that I'm still able to feed you.  She doesn't want to see you on formula with how well you handled the feed! 

She also gave me some encouraging words saying that there is a high correlation between the time spent kangarooing and the success rate of breastfeeding.  She applauded all our time spent holding you which made me feel very good.  I struggle so much with wanting to be here more.   I always want to hold you more than I'm able; I always feel guilty when I have to go back home to the older kids.  I'm glad kangarooing is paying off.  And I'm so thankful that your brain can co-ordinate the pattern of sucking, swallowing and breathing.  It gives me great hope that even with the severity of your brain bleed that you may continue to defy the odds and be our little rock star!~

After a very successful non-nutritive feed!