Happy New Year Joshua! Another holiday has gone by without you and boy was I sad last night missing you. The feeling just comes on so suddenly. We were watching TV and then just talking with Daddy, then something reminds me of you. I get sad and I have a hard time shaking it. My heart longs for you to come home. This is nothing new, nothing I haven't said before, but the feeling comes so often now. You are getting so close, but yet are still so far away of getting out of there. Oxygen flow, feeds, and hernia surgery...that's it...that is all that needs to happen for you to come home. (unless something else crops up) Mommy is SO frustrated with feeds. I feel like you could be so much more successful on your own time, not on the hospitals schedule, but they won't let me do that until you take about 75% of your volume by mouth. And you would do much better with consistent nurses, but we have new nurses that do not take the recommendations that you need a slow nipple and then you aspirate, choke, and need more O2. So frustrating!
2013 has been the worst year of our lives! 2014 has to be better, but I still feel like I have to reign in my hope and joy until the better days are actually here...when you are home.
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