Late night pep talks

Oh Joshua, Mommy and Daddy want to get you home so badly.  It seems you have plateaued and the end is getting farther away again.  This week's doctor says you are making progress on feeds, but both Daddy and I feel you are going backwards.  You've had more feeds gavaged and you've slept through a many feeds.  Breastfeeding is not quite as successful as when you started out.  I notice you are definitely getting more tired more quickly. 


The frustrating part is that Mommy thinks more sleep and a more flexible schedule would help you.  Sometimes if you cry too long because you are hungry, then there is just no waking you up!  You'll wake up for 3 sucks and then fall asleep over and over and over again.   So to help give you a boost to hopefully get you closer to the door, Mommy and Daddy decided that I would stay overnight with you and give you some late night pep talks.  Staying overnight also gives me the opportunity to breast feed up to 4 times without being away from the older 3 during the day too long.  So last night I spent the night for the second time this week to focus exclusively on feeds and getting you to rest.  The doctor finally agreed to give me more reign at night so the nurse doesn't have to keep bothering you and waking you up when you are sound asleep.  The doc was really reluctant to do this because she doesn't think you are ready to be pushed on feeds, but I think that with the proper rest you'd be much more successful.  I want them to give you a chance to prove me wrong...but really, I want us to prove the doctors wrong.  We still need to stick pretty closely to the hospital's schedule and follow the "rules", but at least I'm able to be there to help you feed and you can get some rest.  I talked with you and prayed for you, trying to will you to stay awake and eat.  Funny thing was your best feed was at 4:30am which was NOT on the hospital's timeline, but I took my mommy instincts and fed you anyway.


I am a pretty experienced mom of three...quite experienced in the breast feeding department and have brainstormed so many ways to try to help you.  Quite often the doctors just won't listen, or they say you aren't ready for that, or they say they have tried it on other babies and it was too aggressive.  Several people have given me their advice on how to help you too, and while I appreciate their thoughtfulness, it frustrates me because I've had many-a-discussion with nurses and doctors.  Unless you really experience feeding a sick preemie first hand and know all of the nutritional aspects you really don't know...or know that convincing doctors is not an easy task.


I hope and pray that this helps you get closer to the door.  I'm going to try it a few nights a week it I don't get too tired myself!  Come on little buddy!  You can do it!